Dragon slaying 101
What does it mean to be a DRAGON SLAYER? To me it means to be able to HELP someone and help ourselves in a WAY that is empathetic, firm and helps someone achieve a greater state of being or WELL BEING.
In life we all have our dragons, our fears and doubts, that bind us from reaching what we truly desire. We also have the dragons of desire and at times what we “believe” is “good for us”…. well, just ain’t so.
The Question might need to be asked… What is our doing fueled by? Pain and then our doing or our actions are merely COVER UPS to fill in or cover over a pain in our lives. Just look at all the ADDICTS in the world.
Drug addicts, shopping addicts, power addicts, control freaks, anger addicts, sex addicts and all other forms of codependency in relationships, things and activities.
My own personal fears have driven my seed of desire to FILL IN the fear and pain with achievements… a job, a career, houses, cars, friends, a mate, etc. Wife… got that one down… now…. I am whole? But is a mate, a child, a career there to make us whole and complete? NO. The MOTIVE behind the achievement was a fear of inadequacy within ourselves… the dragon of fear and pain so we used our desire and will to GET THINGS or PEOPLE to fill… secure, safe and comfortable.
Personally, I have wanted many a thing and “got it” and in the end… it was not good for me and was not beneficial for my life. The seed of desire, a potential dragon, can cause pain and suffering in our lives and it can be a “good thing” if we learn something from it.
The seed of desire while maybe its intention is good and maybe it is our “modem of operandi” where the fallacy in thought lies. Maybe we are coming at our desire for an “ego” or “pride” perspective rather than from an Agape Love perspective.
Pride… it makes ME feel good or PUFFED up or “better about MYSELF”.
One may ask, “What IS… Agape Love?” It is the LOVE of God…. a love that is patient. And we would have to define what IS…. BEING… patient from Agape Love’s perspective. It means to me… it is willing to wait…. to sit still and LISTEN… TRULY LISTEN over just hearing.
Most of us think we are hearing but in REALITY… we are TALKING in our own heads thinking about what to say next to elucidate OUR point/opinion and perspective. This is a much longer conversation and the meaning of such is a whole another topic. I stand GUILTY of such “hearing” and fail to TRULY LISTEN… to another person.
To slay the dragons in our lives and in the lives of others we need Agape Love…. to love.. unconditionally without expectation of any payment whatsoever. There is NO REWARD in doing it… it is LOVE for NO REASON at all… it is the LOVE of “just because”. I love you… no reason… just because I choose to.
It is a love beyond motivation… motivation is the ‘stick and carrot’ method. It is a LOVE of INSPIRATION…. it is loving for the sake of being loving. One is consistent with a state of BEING LOVING…. so one is not seeking to GET love or reward or acknowledgment from another. We acknowledge ourselves first, Agape Love ourselves first so there is no payoff for our pride in the end or for the “false self”.
We share our LOVE with another, inspire them, admire the person for who they TRULY ARE vs. what they are pretending to be. We all play the “let’s pretend game” to satisfy our pride and all the hurt feelings or egocentric positions of pride.
The dragon we all face in life is pride as elucidated in the Bible. It is the “feeling” and “thought” that holds us back in life. It seeks its own self interest to survive in our soul yet… it has no power when confronted with Agape Love.
As I grow older and desire to offer my heart and soul to humanity I have realized I have many flaws in thought and even though I may have great intentions I forgot to upload Agape Love as the FUEL first to heal the pain and suffering in the world.
It starts with me and then I share it with my family, friends, groups, community, city, state till it reaches the world. The issues in the world are reflections of ourselves and I seek to slay my own dragons with Agape Love so that my actions come from this place vs. the egocentric position of pride and “self esteem”.
So to conquer the Dragon we have make peace with our feelings and RECOGNIZE.. that our feelings are not very good metrics of test for reality. The… “if it feels good then do it” maxim causes lots of issues.
Heroin makes people feel good… should they… “just do it?”
Using food to cover up bad feelings.. that works… “so should we just do the buffet and eat lots of cake and cookies?”
Sex makes us feel good…. so should we cheat on our spouses?…. It feels good.
That FEELING GOOD thing and LOOKING GOOD thing… is a dragon in disguise. Agape LOVE does not do things from a looking good or feeling good perspective… Agape LOVE thinks…. or chooses to do something for the GREATER GOOD of all.. the person and all mankind. It is not shaken by public opinion, mental projections and needing or desiring to be liked or appreciated.
Agape LOVE just loves and thus… in the end… the dragon is gone and new possibility opens up for the person and the world.
This is my best take on dragon slaying.
In life there are problems… yet these problems if solved.. lead to HUGE financial gains. If not solved lead to loss and a consistent ongoing problem.
We cannot just COVER things up. And a lot of people use three tools for problem solving that do not really work in the LONG RUN.
If money solved the problem then it would be a short term injection to create astimulus that resolved the issue. Eventually… we run out of money.
Time.. there is only so much time in the day so if the PROBLEM grows.. eventually we run out of money.
Work… or work harder. Yes… work and time do help TEMPORARILY but the price is too high. We can only work so hard and if the problem gets real big we exhaust ourselves and eventually burn out.
All of these strategies while having a temporary effect and appearance of a solution eventually fail. We need some new thought and new methods.
I suggest learning the ART of OBSERVATION. To truly observe we have to move past the EMOTIONAL MIND. This mind is unstable and is moved before it understands. The emotional mind is the EGO mind and its speak is one of “i think” and “I know”. All of this just indicates what part of our minds is working.. the stupid part or lizard brain.
It is full of prejudices, preconcevied notions, assumptions and what appears to be well thought out ideas and conclusions. Basically… the bullshit artist and cover up maven that uses RATIONALIZATIONS, JUSTIFICATIONS AND DENIALS to hide problems to feel good about itself and is harmful.
In the healthcare field this same mentality is at work. In reality not many are better… they just FEEL GOOD, have a bunch of new addictions, COST LOTS of money and no one has solved anything but SWEPT IT UNDER THE RUG of “feeling better.”
Thus.. I endeavored to take on this task and wrote a book on how to observe a human body at work. How to ask questions to actually possibly SOLVE health issues.
Here it is:
The premise was that people GET PAID for their work and they don’t work so hard to achieve their desired results. And just maybe.. they SOLVE their own issues and become problem solvers or independent beings full of courage and EMPOWERED.
Most of us set goals. Upon completion of the goal is the next goal and so on and so forth. Suppose today we set a goal and accomplished it in 10 seconds…. bam… done.
Was it the goal or the process of moving towards the goal where the joy lies or life lies?
What if every time we set out to accomplish a goal we always achieved it right away?
How would we feel?
Bored, most likely but it is in the failures, the curves, the twist of fate that actually bring interest to life. In the curves of life is where one might find…. curiosity intrigue and learning.
As a society we have been conditioned to achieve and succeed at all times. Yet, this is NOT normal and unrealistic. As babies we did not achieve walking on the first attempt, nor the second or third.
Somehow we have been conditioned that as a child or person reaches a certain age they should know better. In some things this may be true but in attempting new things… and setting out to seek after a dream, a desire, a wish or goal there are many unknowns.
The path is not clear and only the VISION of the dream lies ahead. This mystical finish line of achievement. But is the joy in crossing the finish line or is the joy in the process of moving towards the finish line or is it both?
Joy is a state of BEING. It is recognizing that we are…. we are alive… we are conscious… we have awareness of life itself… ours and the life that surrounds us. There is no need to judge ourselves for our misgivings, missteps or attempts that did not lead to the fruit.
The courage to venture out… the venture itself is where life exist and the finish line is merely a guide post to create movement. The growth and learning that occur in this process is the EXPERIENCE and fruits of life.
The finish line is merely a recognition that we have GROWN and expanded our potential as a human being and we have to some degree achieved some level of mastery of a skill set.
Each misstep is an opportunity to learn, to tweek our processes and grow in new ways. We can learn about ourselves, about others and cultivate focus, peace, joy, love and appreciation.
For what is the END goal of life itself but to GROW into beings of love, appreciation, joy, peace and appreciation. That in all things we resonate these qualities that are consistent, solid and enduring despite circumstances and achievements.
Whether we cross the line or have our butts handed to us…. it does not matter but the consistency of BEING (joyful, loving, kind, at peace, appreciation, benevolent etc.) in all things and at all times is the ultimate achievement for then…. we own who we are.
We own our emotions, feelings and lives. We then can direct our energies and efforts into things yet not leave ourselves but instead we take our TRUE SELVES with us.
The finish line means nothing if we lose ourselves and for most us… we still have not fully understood who we are. Most of us are “being” who society says we should be and we are doing what we have been conditioned to do.
Yet… the heart and soul call out. Happiness alludes us in the finish line of achievement. Sure… there is the temporary joy of the finish line but it soon fades to only chase the next finish line. But in essence… the joy is only temporary and like a drug… we chase the ecstasy of this powerful feeling of happiness to have it only fade away.
The only thing that really happened was this… we ALLOWED ourselves to experience this JOY and this FEELING only if…. we cross that line. If we cross that line of achievement… we ALLOW ourselves to experience joy and happiness and then… we put it away and SAVE it for the next goal.
We are running a program of rewards and punishments… we only allow JOY and HAPPINESS “if”…. IF we cross “x” finish line.
I am not saying learning or expanding one’s potential are not important for they are but the LEARNING is the VALUABLE thing in the process of the experience and not necessarily the finish line.
Whether one wants truths from neuropsychology or from religious texts the WAY is the way and the truth is the truth.
Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always).
1 Thessalonians 5: 16
In this moment… at this exact time is where…. JOY is located for in this moment is where LOVE is….. for God’s name depicts this…. “I AM” and God is LOVE and God is ALL POWERFUL….. this MOMENT in the process is where the POWER of joy, love and achievement exists to truly accomplish… ALL THINGS and one’s joy is complete and infinite.
If one wants to expand more…. then check out this youtube by Ralph Waldo Emerson… called, “Self Reliance”.
We are here only once and the question that begs mankind is… “why are we here?”
We are here to LEARN and we are here to BE who we TRULY are. We are here to SHINE and radiate our TRUE NATURE.
The confusion sets in by projections of fear and the fear that seems to be innately wired into our being. Some “fears” are healthy and serve to protect us and others are damaging, self limiting and destructive.
Our society admires the WINNERS and abhores the losers or the “failures”. Thus we live to win and become afraid to STRETCH and LEARN new things. We become “habitual” for we know this road or activity or mindset.
We live to avoid the other voices of laughter of those who are even more afraid then we are. The one’s who believe they have strength by “not looking stupid” for trying something new. They covet thier “image” of being “intelligent” or an image of success that is shallow.
The issue might be the definition of success itself. Success is LEARNING… learning something new and the willingness to accept outcomes.
Instead of “labeling” an outcome “good” or “bad” we should merely state to ourselves that the outcome produced provided some very valuable information. We can LEARN from this outcome to again REACH or STEP forward into the unknown of NEW THINGS and NEW EXPERIENCES.
At times our EMOTIONS will pop up with the labels of good/bad, winner/loser, right/wrong, etc. At this time we merely need to take a DEEP BREATH into our belly… RELAX… inhale 4 seconds and exhale 6 seconds and pause 2 seconds.
This will NEGATE the “sting” of an emotion, stop the wheel of fear or impulsiveness and ALLOW the WISDOM of the prefrontal cortex to SHINE… LIGHT up. It is called EQ or Emotional Intelligence.
EQ is more important than IQ. There are plenty of “intelligent” people who “crack” under pressure thus the intelligence is negated and the person’s EMOTIONS have taken over.
To SHINE…. just breath. Relax. Find the space within and ALLOW wisdom to speak. Then recognize the emotion for what it IS… an emotion that only served to inform us of something. What was the emotion really attempting to inform us?
Emotions serve a purpose and the underlying purpose is to help us. But we need to remove the JUDGMENT from them…. good/bad, right/wrong, etc. It is merely information. Breath. Then BE who you really are. SHINE…. take that first step.
Appreciate one’s self. Accept everything… breathe… recognize yourself and then… just be still. And allow the LIGHT within to guide one to his destiny or life’s path. Only the person knows this path and others in our lives need to nuture it but sadly most cannot. For they love us too much to see us not get something “right” the first time. So they attempt to protect us and protect themselves for lacking the COURAGE to LEARN.
If one needs inspiration then go to youtube and look up Steve Jobs and his Standford University graduation speech.
Or watch Shawshank Redemption… “Get busy living or get busy dying.” Choose LIFE and let your LIGHT SHINE. WE all die and the only thing we keep is the LEARNING.
deep breathing, Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Freaves, Mindset by Carol S. Dweck.
SHINE BABY SHINE!
Be bold… be beautiful… BE YOU!
In our Western Society or society at large, “success” or “winning” is adored, admired, respected, coveted and given the BEST seats in the house.
Achievement is awesome, however, there is a mindset that has many fooled into believing that one merely possess a “natural talent” and that a person did not earn it.
Most of the greatest of ALL TIME ball players or executives “earned” their accomplishments via self discipline and by LEARNING from their mistakes.
Mistakes many call our “failures.” The societal punishment is typically shame, laughter, humiliation and loneliness. These MINDSETS come from person’s who live by “fixed thinking”.
Another group of individuals who with enough determination and perserverance actually do create TRUE SUCCESS that is enduring. The Chinese might call it being an “expert”.
An expert is the person who knows 10,000 things about one thing. In other words, the person STUCK to their endeavor, failed multiple times to LEARN something really well. The learning was in experimenting with NEW ideas and “stretching” oneself to do what is CHALLENGING.
So if you feel alone, left out, “not good enough”, not a natural in something then I have good news… KEEP ON PURSUING your dreams. Keep on pursuing your PASSION and PURPOSE for given enough persistance, methodical analysis of one’s tries, continued TWEEKING and “embracing failure” one can become TRULY… a SUCCESS.
It is ALL the times we reached and didn’t make that enable one to finally make it. Dust yourself off…. let go of others opinions, refocus and reach anew.
Be willing to accept HELP.
Be willing to embrace failure cause it is NOT really failure but LEARNING.
Be patient with yourself in spite of others “instant gratification” expectations. Allow the catapillar to BECOME.. the butterfly.
To have a GOOD GIFT the foundation needs to be laid first… brick by brick of attempts to reach higher.
To understand the concept more… read Mindset.
For a Biblical perspective:
Wait upon the Lord and HE will give you the desires of your heart. Wait… be patient not the fallacy of a “natural” or “instant success”.
When the LORD gives a gift he adds no trouble unto it. In other words, those who cannot wait and “go out and get it”… forcing it. These people may attain some success but it fades. The LEARNINGS of achievement may not be adequate thus the success fades for the foundation was not secure.
To win the lottery of $50 million to spend it all and be broke again is not a gift. Understand “money” first so that the gift is a gift vs. impulsive spending on wants and desires of instant gratification of “good feelings” rooted in materialism.
So life typically lets one manage a dollar first. Then manage two dollars. Learning to manage money is the SKILL set. If one merely repeats the money strategy of say… got paid $100 and spent it on a shirt and also decided to charge a pair of pants too for $30 then one may not be learning. The goal was to FEEL good vs. the goal of having MONEY MAKE MONEY to then be used for some HIGHER PURPOSE other than self.
Michael Jordan failed at basketball and was cut from his high school team. He practiced or learned from his failures. He then disciplined himself to address his “weaknesses” or areas that needed improvement. He was relentless in his learnings and kept practicing to fill in the gaps of weakness.
Thus he had the STRENGTH to become.. the Greatest Basketball Player of All Time and the awards and humility to accept the title. He also has a “story” of INSPIRATION for others thus.. He has a HIGHER PURPOSE that says… one can do anything if one can learn by embracing failure vs. avoiding it.
Be patient with yourself… be kind… learn… get back up…. go for it… again and accept ALL the challenges of life for life is merely one big LEARNING process and mistakes and “failures” are part of God’s plan.
Failures are OK… but more importantly… what did we learn?
Pain… it stops us in our tracks. It knaws at us… it definitely gets our attention. As human beings we desire that this nusance… “pain” leave NOW!
Yet PAIN is not a foe… it has done something. It stopped us but why? Pain is indicative of change.. the need to change or the resistance to change.
Many a time we insist on doing the same things and the same habits and expect miraculous results or we only achieve TEMPORARY fixes and relief.
As a Chiropractor specializing in difficult to treat cases and 17 years of experience I have found that to solution is often multifaceted. Taking a “myopic” or narrow view point on a complex system like the body can often obscure answers and solutions.
Pain can have many sources from dietairy to one’s choice of workouts, ways of working out, rest time and emotional stressors.
Many physical pains have roots in our mental framework or “how” we process “events” or “information”. Some people just don’t know how to relax.. they are always ON. The brain is working non-stop. They fidget, wiggle and are always doing something.
DOWN TIME can be created by the body or CNS (central nervous system/brain) out of the unconscious to get us to “take a break”. Our body’s booked us a long over due appointment via pain.
For these patients deep breathing exercises and biofeedback of LETTING GO.. RELAXING under events and thought patterns can curtail a setback in forward progress. The person’s self talk could be negative or fearful thus producing the “flight or fight” response.
Many people without realizing it… “stop breathing” or only take short shallow breaths… a sign of ‘STRESS”. It is now programmed into the subconscious mind which then executes programs AUTOMATICALLY… a “habit”.
At this point the H-P Axis (pituitairy adrenal hypothalamic axis) or the ‘stress hormones’ of the body take over… rapid heart rate, blood pressure elevates, muscles tighten, visual field narrows, poor digestion, chronic inflammation, etc. And long term “negative stress” leads to belly fat.. the dreaded hip-waist ratio indicative of heart disease.
Knowing WHAT ONE WANTS and being able to DEFINE it FIRST in the mind enables better care strategies for the mind informs the body on its direction. Now corrective exercises, nutritional habits and care paths have a better defined goal or DESTINATION.
Pain just helps us to take that TIME OUT to redefine our lives, set new goals and stops us till we CHOOSE the path of our soul. So… take it easy… give yourself a break…. REFOCUS and “let go” of old habits and explore new things and options.